We have, at some point, stretched the truth at work or at home. But when you are dealing on a daily basis with pathological liars how do you actually deal with them?
Liars come in all shapes, sizes, gender and looks, at first glance they can come off charming, intelligent, friendly, accommodating etc. but most often liars have started at a very young age, so their minds have constructed a unique system for telling lies, when they feel they are in situations where their weaknesses will be revealed. Remember, we really do not know people, we only know what they want to tell us.
Their stories are always changing thinking you are being blown away by their tales, convinced you are so gullible you are absorbing every single word they are spewing. Listening closely, you are starting to connect the dots that make their stories not believable but exposing them for who they really are.
In the corporate world liars can be found at every corner. From someone who is not capable of doing their job, but always has a great explanation why they couldn’t accomplish their tasks on time. To the smooth operators that will be crawling to the bosses’ office hoping to ride the next weave of success while planting lies into the boss’s ear to fend away people who would come too close to the truth and expose them for who they really are.
How about the co-worker that goes to conferences spending his/her time having affairs with willing participants? While others are questioning why he/she is attending the conference suspecting something is not right but spending company money to indulge in his/her extra marital affairs. The adulterer has already been to their superior with a story of why it is a necessity for them to attend the conference. Their supervisor has fallen for their story, so they attend and continue their deception.
How about at home when you are asking your mate to do a task but instead finding him on the couch his feet up eating chips while watching a movie. When asked why he couldn’t do the list, he will find an excuse to get out of your wrath.
For the addicted who shop online, hiding the credit card statement to avoid any confrontation but instead of coming clean, they will point their fingers at their children or even explaining someone must have got ahold of their credit cards and did the buying.
How about the serial cheaters that will lie to his/her mate thinking they can live a double life until they get caught red-handed when, by accident, they are in someone else’s Instagram picture that went viral. Explaining to their mate it must be someone who looks just like me!
How often have you ever encountered this kind of situation? While you are listening to them you are seeing red flags going off. Your spirit is telling you there is something wrong.
How often have you turned a blind eye only to regret it later? Too many times we are seeing the truth but ignoring it. If we are not willing to face it, we could be paying the price later.
When it comes to work a lot of people would be more than ready to throw you under the bus to look good or get promoted. It is a jungle, but in suits, ties and high heels. You need to keep your eyes on people that surround you. One can be a friend today and an adversary or competitor tomorrow. If you feel someone’s story is not right than it is not right. Follow your gut feeling, your inner voice.
For the cheaters that are using corporate as their own piggy bank for extra marital affairs only a few get caught. Most of the time people are aware within and outside of the company but say nothing so as not to make “waves”. Sometimes even a president or CEO will turn a blind eye in regard to those kinds of people. I have seen it firsthand but sometimes you have no choice when the person doing the cheating is your own boss. It can make your life even more stressful because you are becoming an unwilling witness in this mess. The only option you have is to leave your job.
How about at home? When you are living with a liar this is where things can get ugly. Since they are spending a lot of their time lying. You can challenge them with their own words, but most of the time they will use your words against you making you think you are at fault when in facts they are.
When meeting someone you should know who they are before you decide to move forward with them. I have seen too many people with a fear of being alone they would take the first person that would come around. Ninety nine percent of the time it was the wrong person. They end up miserable in their lives, being badly treated but afraid to leave. You need to listen to them closely when they are speaking to you. If something is not right, again, follow your spirit. It is telling you there is something wrong!
I lived with a liar for 18 years, it was my father. I learned a lot from him on what NOT to do. But also, it showed me how I should conduct myself and not follow in his footsteps. It can be extremely damaging for a kid to have to learn those bad habits. Watching what kind of damage, he did wasn’t the most appealing life anyone would want. To this day the impact of his lies is still weighing on the rest of my family.