Is it always worth it to have the last word? As mates, we can, from time to time, disagree with each other. When we are getting upset we let our ego run the show. Trying to “crush” the other person to win an argument.
But is it worth it to do it? You may say, but of course Emma it is, because… (fill in the blank)
If you take a minute to step back, you can also realize some of those arguments are patterns you have learned as a young child by witnessing your parents.
We need to recognize them, before they are anchored deep in our core. If you have read my bio, I have shared my story. It wasn’t all full of roses and flying horses. But I was able to make the distinction in my teens and early twenties of the dysfunctional family I was born into.
I tried to not repeat those patterns, it is difficult when you have a mother that has a strong spirit to not follow in her footsteps. By being rebellious, I was able to stay at harms length from her. It helped me tremendously.
It doesn’t mean I have not made my own mistake in my relationships, but I kept the drama out of it. We need to see if those emotions we are having when we are faced with arguing with our mate if it is, is it really a legitimate disagreement or am I looking for unnecessary drama? By honestly doing an assessment of the past arguments you have had lately with your mate, you should be able to come to the proper conclusion.
Be honest, do not try to find an excuse why it started but become the observer. When you are done doing that, release it to the Universe.
If you are noticing a pattern, maybe it is time to start looking at how you can change it. Life has its challenges, but we do not need to argue everyday with our mates. If we are watching ourselves closely we can change our behavior.
It will only improve the relationships we have.
1 thought on “How to consciously change our patterns”
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