This is an interesting essay today,
Do you know which battles are worth fighting at home?
Throughout my childhood, I learned that lesson by watching my parents tear each other apart in endless screaming arguments.
But do you know what battle is worth fighting for with your mate or are you the kind of person who will fight for everything and anything?
Do you think fighting is worth it to you or do you simply enjoy being in a state of chaos?
Do you let your emotions get the better of you just to get what you want? Is it worth it each time?
Would it be better to step back and look at the facts before you go from sweet honey to hot and spicy?
I have learned by watching my parents to pick and choose my battles. Going after my mate every time I am upset and need to release that energy that was bottled up inside of me is helpful to no one.
It would not have been a great choice sending him to do groceries, when I knew he would not pick up everything I needed on the list but would come back with items that were on sale. Those sale items would not even be eaten, but he thought they were a great deal.
Would I want to use a taser each time I found his socks or clothes on the floor instead of him putting them in the hamper?
While watching a game with his friends, I became the maid or the barista. Seeing the living room becoming a pig barn with bottles and food all over the place.
Nope, instead of getting upsets, I have chosen my battles. In regard to the groceries instead of sending him alone I choose to go with him, it gives us time to connect while doing something that can give us some inspiration on what we will be eating.
I have moved the hamper and negotiated with him a few things, again when you bargain with your mate make sure it is worth it for him otherwise he will not do it…..
Becoming a barista at home is not ideal but again while everyone is watching the game I can get with my friend and go for a movie, late lunch or doing an activity that will not require me to stay at home. I still must clean up some of the left overs, but he is doing a good job in making sure everything has been cleaned up in the living room.
If I must choose my battles I would rather not fight but have a conversation with him. It happens from time to time he is going to do something a little crazy that will not make me happy. Like cut down a tree or just remove all the rose bushes without letting me know. This is what makes us who we are, we need to take the time to step back and look at the facts.
If your mate is someone who cannot control his/her spending habits that would be something that needs to be addressed, but small things like groceries, and clothes all over the floor can be easily fixed without going to battles.
You must learn what battles are worth fighting instead of always being ready to jump at each other’s throat. Life is too short to spend our time fighting with each other. It is so much easier to live in a state of peace.