In this essay I am going to share a women’s view on the joy of menopause. I recently saw a friend of mine whose wife is just starting to go into menopause and I must say he is not going through that process very easily. I did share with him some of my experiences on this matter…
All women do have hormonal changes. From our teens years to our twenties we are constantly changing. Going through our 30’s we can definitely notice some of those changes happening. For example, the feel of our skin, our weight fluctuations etc. Having kids will add to the hormones changes.
Now let’s talk about the big elephant in the room, yup you’ve guessed right the joy of menopause.
Gentlemen, you need to understand more of what exactly we are going through. Some women will have a breeze going through the process. But others, not so much. The perimenopause process phase can take up to ten years. Yes, you read it correctly ten excruciating years. It can be a long process; our body will be going at its’ own pace.
I can guarantee we are all wishing we could command our bodies to have it done in an hour.
During this process, we are going through different stages. Which are not as much fun as you gentlemen, when you have your midlife crisis, you are going to by a brand-new sports car. At least when you come back to your senses, you can return the car. In our case we cannot called it quit.
Our body is a nice temple that can host a beautiful fetus for 9 months. With that comes an entire process for us to shut it down.
When we begin the process, we are starting to see changes. Like losing our minds because we cannot remember where our car keys are. Or we absolutely forgot the name of someone we knew for years. Memory loss is just the beginning.
One of my favorite is the hot flashes, the wonderful world of having a thin glycerin sweat covering your entire body. You need a fan at work and at night you need to have a towel where you normally sleep. Otherwise you must change the bedsheets because it has become a swimming pool.
You are starting to notice your thick, beautiful, shiny hair is getting thinner, you are starting to lose your hair. The color of your hair is becoming dull, even if you have taken care of your hair for years. All sudden it’s starting to look awful.
As you are losing your hair, you are starting to discover that you are now getting darker unwanted facial hair, which can be extremely irritating, you start to bleach your hairs for a while. When this doesn’t work anymore you are waxing or shaving it, at last you are going to the process of laser hair removal.
You are noticing that each time you sneeze or laugh a little too hard your bladder leaks. If you are out or at work and this happens, it can be horrifying and embarrassing. You must make a quick dash to the bathroom, because nature is calling, and it doesn’t wait. Your body is starting to betray you.
You are noticing your clothes are getting tighter. What you always loved to eat has become the enemy. You have started to gain weight. For someone who has always managed your weight the best you could, you now must change your eating habits. You also must work out twice as hard hoping this will do the trick. In some cases, if you do not get your hormones under control you can diet or exercise as much as you want, and it still will not give you the outcome you wanted.
When you come home you are becoming increasingly more irritable with your mate or your children. All the idiosyncrasies from your mate or children is starting to get to you. You are almost to the point you want to do some physical damage to them. You are now starting to give anyone the stink eye. Everyone is starting to stay away from you, afraid they will be on your blacklist.
Let’s not forget the tears, yes while emotions are running high so are the tears. You could be watching a puppy running in a commercial for no reason you are tearing up. While you are drying your tears, your brain is asking you what is wrong with you!! It is just a commercial. You could tear up for no specific reasons.
Now this is for you gentlemen, pay attention, our sex drive goes down not because we want to punish you, but because our hormones are changing so much we basically do not want you to touch us. Yes, you read it correctly. Before you go and have an affair on the side try to understand, we are going through major changes in our bodies. We are drying ourselves out from our menstruation cycles, which means we are getting dry and are not producing enough lubrication for coitus. Also, some of us will find your touch to be repulsive our libido basically has flatlined. Sex is the last thing on our minds. Doesn’t mean we stopped loving you, just our body saying “ugh”.
If your mate has gone through the process quickly this is wonderful but if this has been going on for a few years you need to be understanding. The closer we are moving from perimenopause to actual menopause the greater the symptoms.
You have three options as a woman; you can go to your physician work with him/her to get you on track. Find someone that is specializing in menopause. Or go the holistic route, again being followed by someone who is certifying to guide you through the process. Make sure, before choosing the way you want to proceed, to do your homework.
You also need to check to make sure all your hormones are in balance. I have seen women going from wonderful and sweet individuals to Attila the Hun in less than a minute. I do feel for the mate at home, going back to someone you do not recognized can strain any relationship.
Find a great doctor that can help you keep sane but also can take care of all the symptoms you are having. One major subject is intimacy, this is one of the biggest issues. If you are rejecting your mate, he may possibly go seek intimacy somewhere else. Make sure even if you do not have the drive to connect with him. I know easier to say than do.
Suzanne Somers wrote a great book about herself, while going through menopause. She was the first one who publicly talked about it. She also explained she almost got divorced because of the symptoms she was going through. I do know some couples will split because of that, it would be unfortunate for anyone that is currently going through this process to find themselves going through divorce.
No one gave us the manual for menopause, especially the side effects that go with the changes our bodies are experiencing. Again, open communication with your mate, can help both of you to go through the process. Keeping your life in balance is key to keeping your relationship successful during menopause.